Module 2 Reflection Blog: Am I a Resonant Leader MSLD641

 Reflection Blog:  Am I a Resonant Leader

Melissa D. Burns

Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University

MSLD 641

            For this exercise I am going to answer the questions from the perspective of where I was in my last season of work with my airshow business before having my daughter.  I would then like to reflect on how I have changed since having my children and taking a break from work.  I would be especially interested to re-do these exercises after being back to work for a year to see how I have changed as a leader since becoming a parent and having time to reflect in my 4-year break from performing.  

Am I inspirational? How do I inspire people?

Over the years I have had a lot of people tell me that they were inspired by me to chase their dreams and passions.  This feedback has been so precious to me to let me know that I have been making an impact through my work.  If I am nothing else, I believe I am inspirational.  How do I inspire people?  I lead through example and take time at shows to interact with the crowd and to talk to them over the radio so that they can hear the voice of a woman in the airplane.  I continue to be a member of the US Unlimited Aerobatic Team and to represent Women In Aviation and hope that, by example, I am inspiring the next generation of aviators and aviatrix.  I do my best to stay approachable and to make time to answer questions and to give talks whenever possible.  

Do I create an overall positive emotional tone that is characterized by hope?  How?

Am I in touch with others?  Do I really know what is in others’ hearts and on their minds?  How do I show this?

I would say that every day I go to work, I am thankful for the opportunity.  Each flight I know might be my last chance to fly aerobatics.  It is a great privilege to get to fly and especially to get to fly acro and airshows and for the US Team.  Hope is a driving force in my motivation and my passion.  I like to think that the hope I have is contagious.  I need others to have hope for the future of our sport and for women in order to even consider taking the first step towards getting involved in aviation.  If I can see the fire in their eyes when we talk about goals and dreams and flying, then I know that we are connecting on a deeper level and understanding each other.    

Do I regularly experience and demonstrate compassion?  How?

My giving of compassion really depends on the person and the circumstance.  If a person has broken my trust or tried to hurt me I do not demonstrate compassion to them.  If they make any effort to make it right, I am usually a little too willing to forgive and show compassion.  I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and probably need to be more protective and have bigger guards up than I have had in the past.  I am compassionate to a fault and am willing to give of myself, my time and my resources even when I don’t have them to give.  This is a fault of mine that I have had to work on as it gets me into trouble by leaving me overcommitted.  I have learned the hard way to be more selective. 

Am I authentic and in tune with myself, others, and the environment?  How can people see this in me?

I wear my thoughts, feelings and emotions on my sleeve.  I have never had a problem being my authentic self, whatever that is in the moment.  I feel in tune with the people and the environment around me, though I can shut it out when I need to focus on a task like flying.  I think that people either see me as being authentic, or they are cynical and see me as being fake.  I know that I am not fake, but when others are jealous of my position or my job then they usually talk about me like I am not authentic.  This hurts, but I can’t control it.  

In our reading I have had 3 things stand out to me that I want to mention and that I feel should be a part of my daily mantra and they are:  

“Leadership is a conscious process, starting with clarity about one’s own personal vision and hopes for the future (Boyatzis et al., 2008).” 

“Renewal is the antidote (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).”  

“Resonance and renewal involve three experiences; mindfulness, hope and compassion which spark positive emotions and healthy relationships that enable us to be resilient and function effectively even in the face of challenges (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).”  

 In answering the questions in the exercise, I do believe that I am a resonant leader who has compassion and connects with others through mindfulness and hope.  If anything, I think that my naïve and younger self has carried over through my career to make me too trusting and open to other people.  I have found that many people will take and take from me and will be one person to my face while doing harm to me and my career behind my back.  As a parent I believe that I would be more guarded in the future when returning to work, because I am saving my energy and assets for my children.    

            I think that it surprises me that I have let myself go through the cycle more than once in my 15-year career of resonance to sacrifice syndrome to dissonance.  I have learned lessons each time, but still have let myself fall into feeling invulnerable when I get to a position of success and let my guard down.  I can think of plenty of examples but will give just one.  

            I found myself riding the wave at the top of my career and sailing along booking more work than I could take and gaining accolades and awards and sponsors and living the dream.  When I was faced with opposition or sexual harassment or someone being dishonest and mishandling funds, I felt that I was protected enough by my position to speak out.  I felt like I could be a crusader and take on all of the ‘bad guys.’  I found out very quickly that I was wrong.  Many of these ‘bad guys’ were either working in the press or held board positions where they had the power to hurt me, really hurt me, and they did.  I learned that when I come back I have to play their game and if I want to make positive change I need to do it in a way that works with their system and does not go crashing up against it.  Basically, imagine me riding on a horse with my sword towards the great wall in Game of Thrones and thinking that I stood a chance.  Our support systems need to be in place and we have to have strategy when taking on the man.  I learned this the hard way more than once and don’t plan on making the same mistake again.  I hope to lead and inspire others to lead and to build up the right kind of team that we need for our sport and industry of aerobatics to survive and thrive.  

            Starting each day from a place of positivity can help to shift a person’s view and attitude to avoid falling into self-destructive or bitter behaviors (Culture of Good, 2018).  Often time leaders who burn out start to generalize with negative thoughts like, “people are impossible” and this thought pattern is toxic and destructive (Culture of Good, 2018).  

            Living through the pandemic has made everyone strive to be patient and resilient to get through to the other side while undergoing extreme stress.  We have seen people drinking more alcohol and more caffeine to cope and working out more and meditating more.  These are all ways that people seek to reduce stress or to escape the reality for a moment. There are, of course, healthier ways than others to do this and children and adults are all actively finding their way to deal with life and the stresses of Covid19.  Preventing burnout in leadership for those running companies is a hot topic at the moment.  Some of the important points that are coming from the research and doctors include finding balance, being nimble and able to change their approach as a leader, being empathetic and maintaining a human-centered strategy (Moss, 2020).   

            In closing, I feel that finding contentment in the moment and maintaining a balance of physical, emotional and spiritual health is the best thing that we can do for ourselves and for each other as leaders and as humans. 

References

Boyatzis, R.; Johnston, F.; & McKee, A. (2008).  Becoming a Resonant Leader Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, Sustain Your Effectiveness.  Boston:  Harvard Business Review Press.  

Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005).  Resonant Leadership Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope, and Compassion.  Boston:  Harvard Business Review Press.  

Culture of Good, (2018).  How to Lead Without Becoming Bitter.  Retrieved from https://www.cultureofgood.com/how-to-lead-without-becoming-bitter/

Moss, J., (2020).  Preventing Burnout is About Empathetic Leadership.  Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2020/09/preventing-burnout-is-about-empathetic-leadership